Item! A tragic burial!

This just in from the uncanny holllllllleeeeeeeewooooooood newzlines: Actor Bill Pullman recently was involved in a car accident. Fortunately, the handsome and luxurious actor's face and hands were not injured. Three other people died in the crash, and will regrettably be unable to attend opening day screenings of Pullman's upcoming family drama, "A Tragic Burial", also starring Actor Rose McGowan and Actor Chris "Ludacrous" Bridges.

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Actor Debbie Moore recently broke up with her Famous Husband, Actor Bruxe Willis, over a dispute that the two had at the family thanskgiving's annual TurDuckEn dinner pot-luck post-baseball game meal finale, this year hosted by family restaurant Guarantee's Best Family Values.
The two Super-Actor's have agreed to share custody of their dog named Custody.

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Actor Ronny Howard spoke to a group of pain killer addicts about wising up and getting straight in time for the holiday seasons.
"Be you jew, muslin or christmans, you don't want to disappoint members of your family," the famous Actor pleaded in his Grammy Award-Winning Alto Voice.

Item! THIEF!

Actor Paul Mark Gosselier was spotted eating olives straight out of a jar at a local Lucky supermarket. The actor then closed the lid of the jar and placed it back in the shelf.
If you were the unlucky shopper to purchase a jar of olives from Lucky that is two-three olives short of the olive count listed on the jar of olives, tell us your story. Contact this blog at olivesforoliver_oliveboy_allovertheplace@olives9111.com to report this olive theft.

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Actor Vincent Galloway recently sponsored a youth safety meeting discouraging many local youths from joining gangs, driving around fast, and even engaging in pre-marital romance.

Gosh Bless Our Celebrated Favorites!!

Actor Dusty Hoffmen! Actor Antonion Saboto Junior! Actor Bing Cosby! They are some of our favorites, and in them of Gosh Almighty, we will celebrate them and their excellent contributions!

Item A! Actor Alexis Bliedel was recently seen driving a motorized scooter around on a dry river bed with three leather jacket-clad teen boys.

Middle Item! Famous Actor Jim Brewer announced that he would be making pesto spaghetti noodles for him and his girlfriend, who is not famous.

Item C! Actor Titus Welliver recently lost a lot of weight. Sources close to the Actor say that his good friend, Actor Marc Pellegrino, found much of that weight, and "then some."

Break Bread with the Box Office Blockbusters!

Who could forget the very first meal ever in Holleeeeewoooood, starring Actor Richard Burton and Actor Elizebeth Taylor?

First Item! Actor Antonio Bourdain was recently cast in the biopic about the life of famous celery farmer Johann Schmidt. He will be starring against Actor Chase Crawford and Actor Maria Bello.

Item #2! Sources close to Actor Bill Pullman say that the famed superstar recently took out an classified ad in an attempt to get rid of a broken lawn mower that has been in his garage for several years.

Item C! Actor Tania Raymonde was spotted cooking vegietables on the stove at her home in Santo Monica.