Hello John Glenn and Friends. Though you may not have a television signal in inner orbit, your 88k internet modem connection should allow you to read the Holllllleeeeeeewooooooood Newz live blog of the Oscar Ceremony, held at the Kodiak theater. The hope is that you, and hopefully many internet readers, can experience the excitement of award giving through the magic of text and a few choice images. Thanks, and may you return home to to earth safely!
6:45 Actor Annie Hathawade ordered a pepperoni pizzette into the green room. Hope she doesn't gain weight!
6:46 Billionaire Steve Jobs mentioned a new Apple Eye-Pad on the red carpet. Grab it while it's hot, teens!
8:19 Actor Lexie Kardashian showed off her famous assets in a red dress while presenting the Number One Actress Award to Actor Sandra Bullox. Kudos to a delightful Actor who staged a break out performance.
5:45 Actor Billy Crystals included in a salute to Actor Ricardo Montalban. Yes! Finally giving the fans what they are looking for!
7:12 Actor David Boreanaz presenting the Number One Actor Award to Jennifer Aniston. Deserved after a difficult breakup. Let's hope that Aniston feels better about losing Actor James Brolin (romantically.)
6:17 Actor Millionairesse LeGresse, upon winning the Award for best Actor in a Foreign Film, thanked her actuarial inspiration, Actor Julie Roberts. Is everyone in TV land in agreement that Movie "Erin Brokovich" remains the best Film to hook newbies into the Celebrity business?
8:25 Hosts James DiFranco and Ang Hathalee swapped novelty t-shirts during a hurricane of musical montage. Hearts aflutter to the beat of the booming bass drum. Did we detect nipple pokies coming from both stars? (Yes!)
9:11 Who can stop the powerhouse duo of Actor Michael Richardson and Actor Dave Crosby? A rendition of "It's Not the Blues, It's Just Fancy Music" was exactly what was needed to bring the house down.
7:60 Actor Titus Welliver's presentation of the Boston Achievers Award to Actor Rafe Fines was a truly moving moment, matched only by a montage dedication to recently departed Actor Steve Seagal.
4:31 Actor Michelle Douglas and his Wife, Actor Angelinie Jolie were spotted dropping an envelope of white powder into their "sobriety approved" cocktails of tonic water and club soda.
6:55 A reading of lines written by Screenwriter William Shakespeared, as read by Singer Justin Timberlakes, showed that the former New Kid on the Block has the talent needed to carry his own film, preferably one about asteroids or maybe martian invasions.
9:11 Actor Toni Braxton's rendition of leading song, "Built to Spilt," from film "Toy Stories Three," carried the emotional weight of the songstresses recent release from a rehabilitation center. Her musical stylings injected a whole new variety of adult emotion into what was previously an Oscar Nominated Song written mostly for Children.
7:17 Presenters James Frankel and Anne Chumsky presented the annual Celebrity McCauley Culkin Award for Excellence in Child Acting to Actor Natalie Portman for her role in Star Wars.
9:11 Sources close to Actor Jack Nickelson say that the star had ingested so much ecstasy he couldn't stop groping seatmate Actor Courtney Cocks.
6:14 Actor Bruce Vilanch recited a joke about popcorn to a delighted meeting room filled with the Agents of top Holleewood writers.
9:16 Top Actor Martin Sheen spread a deck of cards face down across a folding table, and asked Best Supporting Actor Nominee Henry Rollins to pick up an ace, with a $40 incentive for selecting correctly.
9:11 Presenters James Franco-Armenian and Suzanne Summers stood atop a human pyramid to announce the award for Best Performance By A Trained Actor. The Award was ultimately given to Actor Benicio Del Taco for his role in Director Peter Fleming's "The King's Pitch." This film, in the opinion of this blog, was a top pick from 2008.
7:59 The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Signages delivered a Special Commendation, by way of Actor Bryce Houston Howard, to Actor William Hertz, for his excellent ability to portray a person of color in "Build Me a Taller House," a film that was selected as a finalist in the category of Best Cross-Generational Picture of the Year.
8:01 Actor Doctor Pepper was honored for his trailblazing role in America's first movie with an hilarious musical montage featuring clips from his later, 1970's roles as a comedy Actor.
9:11 Presenters Jay Frank-o and Anne Hammaway spilled a green kale and raspberry smoothie on the head of recent stroke victim Actor Tom Cruise. A troubling affair for the former Sociologist!
9:43 Actor Brukes Willis was spotted interviewing Actor Tori Spelling for his blog about Celebrity Opinions. Can't wait to hear what she has to say.
8:39 Finally, after much waiting, the Academy announced the most anticipated Award, Best Movie Man and Woman Film of the Year. Special Guest Presenters, Actor Keanu Reeve and Actor Hilary Swunk really wrenched serious emotion out of the moment, as Actors often do, and presented the Award to a grateful Actor Martin Scorceseses, helmer of classics "Toxic Driver" and "The Avian Flu." Martin's recent film, "Candles in the Night," from this, a recent year, starring Actors Bradd Pits, Actor Brad Dourif, and Actor Julia Styles, was correctly awarded the Top Honor of the night. After the acceptance speech, several celebrities went home to their Wives, but some of them went to parties!
