Buckingham Newz! Live Bloggingham The Royal Weddingham

Wot Wot and Talleeeeho to gossip lovers! Today, in honor of a particular ceremony, Holleeeeeeewoooooddd Newzzzzzz abandon's the sunny shores of Southern California in favor of covering the world's very first Celebrities, the English Royal Party Family and their Fancy Wedding Spectacular! Follow along with your website simulcast viewing program as we blog along, live, with a Royal Weddding!

4:12 Actor Victorio Beckham and her husband, Actor Bendit Beckham arrived at the ceremony in a horse drawn carriage. Vicotorio refused to tip the driver of the carriage after he failed to recognize the Famous Celebrity Couple.

5:39 In an attempt to make the ceremony "less gay," the royal family hired Actor Jason Statham to drive by the event on an American Motorcycle.

3:42 Actor/Performer Celine Dion choked on a piece of Royal Wedding Cake.



6:17 Celebrity Chef Actor Emerile LeGassie was hired by the Royal Couple to kick the appetizers up a few notches. Legassie added his famed "Cajun Can-Do" to appetizing appetizers like hot dogs in a pastry, fried flounder fillets, English Style Chow Fun Noodles, and beer soaked pieces of white bread.

6:16 Actor Anderson Cooper purchased a collectable dessert bowl imprinted with the face of the Royal Couple at a stand near the Royal Ceremony. Cooper reportedly plans to bring the bowl back to American United States as a souvenir gift for his friend Actor Katy Perry.

4:02 Despite having accents that make them sound smart, thousands of English People stood outside on a street on a cold morning to see the Royal Wedding Procession.

5:56 After attending the Royal Ceremonies, Actor Jeff Daniels walked past a Police Call Box on a London Street, and made a TARDIS related joke about going back in time to see the Royal Ceremonies for a second time.


6:27 Actor Dougray Scott was not invited to the wedding ceremony. Sources close to the actor say that he was "asleep at his home" when the ceremony took place.

4:11 Sir Actor Elton John was spotted performing a jig on the steps of the Famous Church in which Royal People get married.

6:43 Actor Titus Welliver presented a check, on behalf of the American Actors Association, to the Royal Newlyweds in order to help them cover the costs of their extravagant honeymoon vacation.

5:71 Actor David Duchovny was caught snickering during the Royal Vows and was asked by a Buckingham Guard to leave the ceremony.

3:01 Actor Michael Caine, one of the Royal Family's Honored Guests, mistakenly showed up to a small church in Sussex, assuming that the hubub in London was a decoy wedding.


4:39 Actor/Singer Kylie Minogue was barred entrance to the event after it was realized that she had coincidentally worn the same dress as the Royal Bride.

3:14 Because she is more than two feet shorter than him and generally difficult to spot, Actor David Boreanaz tripped over the Royal Queen and fell onto his face. Fortunately, neither party was injured, and the two had a good laugh about the incident later during the ceremony.

3:11 Actor William Smith was involved with a pool party, and was unavailable to comment on the Royal Nuptuals.

A Gossip Sandwich with Tasty Cold Celebrity Cuts

Often called a California Club, a Celebrity Gossip Sandwich also contains toppings like sprouts, lettuces, a tomato, sometimes red onion, and the dressing of your choice.

Item #1! Actor Molly Ringwield was spotted riding a horse over a small hedge in the middle of a large field.

Middle Item! Recently Retired Actor/Host John Carson announced that he is investing in a roller skating rink near his home in Cerritos, CA.

Item C! Actor Bobs Hoskins ate a Bob's "Big Boy" hamburger sandwich with several frenched fries. The Actor had previously stated that he was "trying to avoid carbs," but after a long few weeks on the road, eventually decided that "screw it."

Replacing the Letter "S" in Superstars with a Letter "T"

Tuperttart. It all begins here. Tuperttart.

First Item! Actor Bronson Pinchot announced his intention to start taking tennis lessons. The Actor, known for his ability to portray a variety of characters, went on to say that he was optimistic about competing in the sport professionally at the end of the year.

Item B! Actor Pablo Picasso was seen eating an apple near a reservoir filled with water.

Item #3! Actor David Boreanaz recently decided not to adopt a child, after speculating about what the child would look like as a fully grown adult.

A Senator's Ransom in Celebrity Gossips!

Actor Joe Lieberman, Actor Ted Kennedy, and Actor Roscoe Calhoun all agree that politics and starlets go together like hame on cake!

Item #1 Actor Ron Pearlmen was spotted besting Actor Amy Poehler at a charity darts game held in the back of an unidentified bar in Malibu Beach. Pearlman threw one dart comically close to Poehler's, just to show that he could do it.

Item B! Actor Tyler "Very" Perry was photographed eating non-sustainable oyster shooters at a restaurant located near the 405 freeway.

Last Item! Sources close to Actor Marc Pellegrino say that the super-Celeb was enlisted by Actor Evangeline Lily to assist her with the construction of bee-keepers barn. The sources indicated that while Pellegrino lacks knowledge of bee upkeep, he has several years of barn experience.

Celebrity Gossip Helps the Plants Grow.

A little sunshine from the face of Smiling Songstress Gywenth Paltrow is all that is needed to help your most measley tomato plants grow into tasty pre-ketchuped morsels.

First Item! Actor Kate Blanchette reported earnings of over twelve thousand dollars on her recent tax filings. A closer inspection of her financial documents revealed that it was actually over twelve thousand dollars of earrings.

Item B! Actor Wilson Smith was seen ordering a pho noodle soup from a Vietnamese restaurant by an identified source. The source went on to say that the Actor refused an offer of Sriracha hot sauce and sliced jalapeno peppers, suggesting that the Superstar is, in the words of the source, a "mega wuss."

Item #3! According to circulating rumors, Actor Titus Welliver opened a free checking account at a Chase Bank in Eagle Rock, after hearing a good review of the bank's services from Actor Jodie Foster.

Special Breaking Announcement: The Cast of Ocean's 16 Revealed!

Attention gossip lovers and movie watchers alike! Holllllllleeeeeeewoooooood Newzzzzzzz is proud to present the latest in a long line of exclusive, breaking news posts. Here, for the first time, our readers will be treated to the full cast list of the crime team from upcoming sequel Ocean's 18. Also included is a brief synopsis of the film's thrilling and exciting plots! This is officially an Official Celebrity Leak!

Ocean's 15 Cast Listing! (Please keep this document between Film Executives)
Actor George Clooney as Billy Ocean
Actor Bradley Pitt as Billy Ocean's Friend Ross
Actor Most Definitely as Carby Squawkens
Actor Dwight Schultz as Carlos Ocean (Billy's Father)
Actor Taylor Lautner as Drew Shipske (a local Tough)
Actor Stella McCartney as Name To Be Determined (Love Interest)
Actor Alf as Himself (Special Guest Appearance)
Actor Charles Damon as Matt Damon's Character's Brother
Actor Kiero Knightly as Stephanie ValDoffen (Owner of a Vault)
Actor Robert DeNiro as Cardinal Balthazaar DeNello
Actor Titus Welliver as Police Chef Lee McCarlin
Actor Ted Danson as "Sturdy" Stan Ocean
Actor Ben Stiller as Tomcat Hillenburg (Collector of Rare Bones)(Villain)

Synopsis (Also, this document is for only Film Executives)
Following the events of "Previous Ocean Movie", the gang of characters find themselves trapped on a desert island. They are surrounded on all sides by the Pacific Ocean, the surface of which is covered in motion detecting lasers and heat sensitive panelling. After escaping the island, Clooney and his crew are looking for payback in the form of their most daring heist ever.To pull it off, Clooney supplements his ever-expanding gang of thieves and ne'er-do-wells with the craziest new characters yet, including a man that only talks to bombs, a twelve year-old boy with a dinosaur puppet, and a woman with a short haircut.
Together, this motley crew will attempt to crack open a safe that Genghis Khan himself buried at the center of the world and is rumored to contain powerful jewels that will help Clooney rescue his girlfriend from prison. A subplot involves several of the characters climbing up the side of a building while discussing an episode of "Mork and Mindy."

Beyond the Realm of Understanding Comes Gossip from the Cosmos

That is, if the working definition of "the cosmos" is Los Angeles county and its surrounding areas (Orange County)! Once everybody is clear on that, it's safe to move on to some truly mind blowing celebrity developments.

Item A! Actor Taylor Swifty was spotted demonstrating the properties of gravity to a group of middle school students outside of Mrs. Granley's classroom. The famous Celebrity's demonstration, which included the dropping of a roll of paper towels into a bucket of water, both impressed and educated the gathering of tweens.

Middle Item! Sources close to Actor Evan Rachel Martha Wood say that the Actor has recently moved on from her infatuation of Television Program "Weeds" (starring Actor Kevin Nealon) and is now working her way through episodes of Reality Program "The Famous Housewives of Sacremento County."

Item #3! Actor Gavin Rossdale recently changed a burnt out lightbulb in his dry goods pantry by asking his servant to change the burnt out light bulb in his pantry.

Taking Famous Communion with Hollleeeeewooooddd's Number One Catholic Gang

The Body of Actor James Dean and the Blood of Actor Marilyin Munroe.

First Item! At the recent event, Billbort Music Awards, Actor slash Singer Whitney Huston's shrimp platter was not delivered correctly to her green room backstage.

Item # 2! Actor Leonerdo DiCiprio was spotted carrying a large duffle bag filled with Euros into an Arby's in San Pedro.

Item C! Actor Anna Torv purchased a controlling interest in a model and hobby shop in Torrance.

The Wal-Mart of Celebrity Gossip!

We're not only rolling back prices, we're also rolling the slim, toned back muscles of top celebrated athletes! Andre Aggassi! Venus Sister! ARon! These famous ball players have inspired and then retired---to live a reclusive life filled with activity and working on their important bodies.

Item #A! Random House Celebrity Author Rose McGowan described an incident in which she ate a cherry out of the mouth of Actor Clint Howard in a middle chapter of her tell-all Celebrity Book, "McGoing the Distance".

Item 2! Actor Gabriel Byrne ordered a radish at a raw foods restaurant in SoHo, Long Island.

Last Item! Actor Titus Welliver was spotted building a sand castle in the shape of a buxom bikineed girl at a beach in Beverly Hills.

Item!

Acting Actor William Shadner ordered foie gras at a Fancy Restaurant, but mispronounced it when ordering. The waiter, Actor Judd Nelson, mistakenly brought him a group of forks based on his interpretation of Shadner's mispronunciation.

Item!

Actor Billy Paxton was recently fired from working on the newest Tales From the Crypt film ("Tales From the Crypt Presents Scaredy Zoo") based on his reluctance to appear nude in a working locker room shower. He was replaced by Actor Timothy Allen.

Shun the Rumor and Worship the Celebrity Facts!

This blog can officially guarantee that the following gossip items are completely, one hunnerd percent factually present!

First Item! According to a report, Actor Johnnie Stamos was ordered by a medicine doctor to abstain from drinking frosty root beer floats, and to avoid most ice creamed floats in general. The report continued that the order was made in consideration of the Actor's Health.

Item #2! Actor Megan Foxx was spotted wearing a large, wide necktie and khaki-colored cargo short pants to a friend's "1990's" themed birthday party.

Item C! Sources close to Actor Titus Welliver say that the celebrity superstar is currently repairing a 1981 Buick Skylark in the garage of his home in Bell Gardens. The source went on to confirm that the Skylark is a burnt ochre color.

Item!

Actor Jaleel White misread an article in the Los Angeles Times and was embarrassed to later realize that he had incorrectly summarized an article about raves in the Middle East while on a third date with a Beautiful Woman.

Celeb Spotters Send Us Your T.I.P.S!

(Terribly Inconvenient announcements about Personal Sobriety breakthroughs!)

Item A! Actor Vincent Gallows recently received a prescription for Medicine Gonzonapan to treat his outbreak of Marzipan Mumps and recurring sweat-fits.

Item 2! Sources close to Actor Paul Haggis say that the superstar celebrity was found passed out in a cupboard under the stairs after drunkenly recreating a scene from the "Harry Potter And The..." popular film series.

Last Item! Actor Marc Pellegrino was spotted throwing away a handful of blank, tea stained envelopes. When asked to respond to the rumors, the Actor stated that he had "spilled tea on some envelopes while drinking tea."

Item!

The Ghost of Actor Heath Ledger recently applied for a job at Grocery Superstore Whole Foods. Sources close to the actor's ghost say that it was interested in managing the cheese section.

Top Dollar Gossip for A Low Low Price!

The prices on the following gossip items just absolutely can't be beat. Don't even think about shopping anywhere else for excellent celebrated stories!

Item #1! Actor Brad Bridges recently owned a boat. It was sold on Craigslist via online classifieds.

Item Middle! Actor Andrew Garfield recently competed in a nine "kay" marathon. He came in eleventh place, much to the delight of his female fans.

Item C! Sources close to Actor Russell Brands say that the famous English Man is looking for a new tailor for formal events. Qualified tailors are encouraged to send their resumes to Brands via his talent agents, located in Beverly Hills, Californio.

Sighted!

Actor David Boreanaz at a lumber yard.

Actor Piper Perabo buying frozen peas at a Vons.

Actor Denzel Washington ordering Chinese food on a pay telephone.

Actor Bridget Bardot waiting to cross a street.

Actor Wayne Knight hammering nails into a piece of wood.

Actor Kelly Presstin picking up a penny off of the sidewalk.

Item!

Actor Ben "Kingly" Kingsley watched a screening of "The Shining" at a drive in movie theater with Actor Helen Hunt.

Help Tom Sawyer Gossip-wash That Rickety Old Fence!

You know that we would love you to read this blog full of celebrity titbits, but really, it's just more fun if we read it ourselves.

Item #A! Actor Horation Sanz was recently spotted at the Pink Flamingos Hotel and Casino and Fabulous Las Vegas, Casino. He was seen playing in a high stakes game of Gin Rummy.

Item 2! Sources close to Actor Barbara Streisandland say that the Actress was miffed when she purchased a $5 carryout cheese pizza from Pizza Restaurant Little Caesers, only to discover that it was pepperoni-topped. The sources said that the Actress attempted to return the pizza pie, but that her local franchise has a "No Refunds!" policy.

Last Item! Actor Titus Welliver broke his shoulderbone while competing in a skateboarding contest at a local youth center. According to identified members of the audience, the 57 year old Actor was attempting a Double Grindhouse Wheelie Kick-Slap when he fell off the board and tumbled down a steep ramp. Close friend Actor Marc Pellegrino helped Welliver drive to the hospital, where he was put in a shoulder cast.