Happy Rosh Hash Shanah to the Jewzzzzzz of Hollllllleeeeeeeewoooooood!

Here is the annual list of top jewish Celebrities!

1. Actor Fuyvish Finkel
For all of his great work in many shows and one hour dramas.

2. Actor Leah Michelle
Glee's Gleeading lady, we salute her Hebraic beauty! And such a soulfully voice!

4. Actor Sandra Burnhard
A thinker's brain and a Jewess in spirit, our heart goes out to the family of Jews that built her.

5. Actor Daniel Craigstein
We Bonded over our admiration for your masculine calf muscles!

6. Actor Carrie Underwood
American Idol? More like Israeli Idol! Shalom, baby!

8. Actor Francis Ford Coppola
The true jew's Jew. Pass the pastrami, Francis Ford!

9. Actor Larry Sanders
Marriage material for female jews over 40.

10. Actor Barbara Streisand
Sing it again, and then sing it one more time. This lovely lass sang the best version of the dreidel song ever recorded.

Quizz Boi!

Quiz takers unite for a top delight quiz about Hollllleeeeeeeeeewoooooood's leadingest men?
Yes indeed. Here it is for your viewing pleasure.

Which dramatic actor in a starring role has just the absolute hunkiest shoulder bones?


Choice A! Actor Brent Spine?


Next Choice! Actor Marlon Brando?


Choice #3! Actor Gene Siskels?


Last Choice! Actor Jar Jar Binks?


One randomly quiz entrant to win one new Hyundai Accord!

Zoo Filled With Celebrity Pets!

All of your favorite stars love animals, and many keep them in the Holllllleeeeeeeeewooooood zoo while they are away filming movies and television shows you love. Actor Ronald Reagans pit bull! Actor Tony Shalhoub's russian blue cat! Even Actor David Lettermen's pet chimp, Sprinkles!

Item #A! Actor Ron Turturro poured green hot sauce all over a burrito he put in his mouth outside of a burrito restaurant in Beverly Hills. The burrito cost $14, served out of a truck, and made by a chef that is on television.

Item 2! Actor Winnona "Knight" Ryder recently received a black eye after bumping her head into parking meter. Sources close to the Actor say that she had dropped several coins while attempting to put them into the meter, and lost track of her spatial perception while bending over to pick up the coins.

Last Item! Actor Anna Torv was spotted drinking beer out of a can on the porch of her house with several other attractive people.

If Actor Oprah Winfrey Got Swine Flu, It Would Transform into Divine Flu

Swine Flu: Official Selection in Oprah's Disease Club!

Item A! Actor Brian Denehey was seen blinking.

Middle Item! Sources close to Actor Nicole Kidmen say that she turned down a free gift card for Amazon.com that was given to her when she opened a checking account at Chase Bank. When asked why she had refused the promotional incentive, Kidmen explained that she pays a team of people to make make her online purchases, and that she didn't feel like sending the gift card through the official channels that would get it to the right people.

Item C! Actor Titus Welliver recently lost a coin toss with friend Actor Mark Pellegrino, and was forced to pay for both of the their dinners, even though Pellegrino ordered the duck and the caviar appetizer.

Item!

Actor Harlan Williams was spotted drinking too close to the drinking fountain spout at the Los Angeles Zoo. Witnesses were concerned that the famous actor was spreading germs which could possibly infect young men and women.

Liveblogging the Emmys!

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Item!

Actor Jessica Albo wrote a novel under the pen name Garanja Peppercornes. The prose work featured a very erotic emotional relationship scene, according to sources.

Item!

Actor Gary Oldmen spotted a shiny nickel on the ground, but as a considerate citizen, left it for some less successful person to find for themselves.

Item!

Actor Toby McGuyver slammed a dunk in a basketball hoop, impressing his many friends.

Celebrities Idling In Cars on Hollllllllleeeeeeeewwooooood Ave!

Many celebrities that are famous also drive cars. Many of these cars were made in U.S. America, but some of them were made in foreign lands like China, Greece, and Ireland. Let us know what kind of car you drive!

Item A! Actor Alexis Bleidel fell over while trying to tie her shoelaces on a moving walkway at Seattle International Airport.

Item #2! Sources close to Actor Ice Tee say that despite his "tough boy" image, the top superstar is keen on his tomato garden and enjoys fresh tasty tomatoes when they are in season.

Last Item! Actor Marc Pellgrino organized a charity square dance in a barn almost thirty miles away from his Connecticut home.

Celebrities Remember Their Favorite 9-11 Moments!

Do our readers remember the events of 9-11? If you don't, your famous supertars absolutely do. Here is what a few of them did to Remember this memorable day in our recent history!

Actor Marky Mark Wahburg used google to look at a map of a nearby Red Cross Facility.

Actor Gwenyth Paltrow and her husband Actor Thom Yorke appeared on a late night variety show and sang a duet about love.

Actor Michael C. Hall solemnly watched a tumbleweed roll across a dry desert road.

Actor Gerard Butler is non-American (scottish), and forgot to remember. He played golf this morning.

Actor Clint Eastwood put a pink breast cancer ribbon onto his refrigerator with a refrigerator magnet.

Actor Billy Dee Williams did not use coupons at the grocery store, in favor of patriotically putting more money into the local economy.

Actor Seth Rogen dialed 911 after watching a loved one collapse from a heart attack.

Actor Toni Braxton wore a longer dress out to the nightclub at which she had been paid to appear.

After winning a game in his adult football league, Actor James Gandolfini dedicated his key touchdown to bravery.

Actor Jay Mohr didn't get out of bed for the entire day.

Actor Titus Welliver mistakenly thought that today was Labor Day, and cancelled a barbecue that he had planned.

All Swollen Up With Famous Gossip!

Bigger than a Bee (Arthur) Sting! More fluid filled than Poison Oak(wen Wilson)! Way grosser than a (Laura Flynn) Boil! It's Hollllllllllleeeeeeeeeeewwwooooooooooood Newzzzzzzzzzz!

First Item! Actor Woody Harrelson Ford was spotted calibrating a Geiger counter.

Item #B! Actor Sean Astin lost a bet in which he was forced to swallow a live goldfish. The goldfish's owner? None other than fitness Guru Tony Danza!

Item 3! Source close to Actor Carrie O'Fisher say that the Actor built a tree fort in her backyard that gives her a view of the nude beach that she lives next to.

Fried Celebrity Gossip Goodness!

It tastes way better than steamed Celebrity Gossip Goodness, but is heavier in saturated famous fats.

Item #1! Actor Ron Howards recently harvested the crop of watermelons that he decided to grow in the winter. He started by planting seeds into the ground, then watered them for several months before picking and then eating them.

Middle Item! Actor Billy Corgie was mugged two nights ago in a dark alley. Fortunately, the famous Star of Smashing Pumpkins was only carrying sixteen dollars in his wallet and has no credit cards.

Item C! Actor Joshua Jackson was seen standing in front of a mirror and adjusting his hairdo. An identified source says that he was on his way to a job interview.

What Time Is It (In Holllllleeeeeewooooood)?

About Fuyvish, if you were wondering.

First Item! Actor Shaquill O'Neil recently announced that he was buying a large amount of stock in a company that makes socks for children ages 3-9. "I have children of my own," said the Actor, "and I know how important socks can be to a family."

Item #2! Actor Charles Bronson reportedly bet a sum of $40 on a recent Los Angeles Clippers game. When the team lost to the Phoenix Sunnies, the Actor reportedly threw two twenty dollar bills into the air and stormed out of the room, mumbling under his breath.

Item C! Actor Titus Welliver slathered bees honey all over his pancake breakfast, after making a mistake and thinking that he had grabbed a can of Maple Syrups.

Building a Better Celebrity Blogosphere

Doing our part to make you enjoy your time on the internet!

Item A! Actor Ed Helms was spotted gobbling Xanax in anticipation of meeting his future ex-mother in law.

Middle Item! Sources close to Actor Ryan Phillips say that he has ordered a pizza with an extravagant number of toppings. "I'd never seen so many toppings on a pizza," says one identified source. "He is becoming a naughty pizza boy."

Item #3! Actor Marc Pellegrino was recently organizing a drawer filled with nails and screws. The Actor put all of the screws on one side of the drawer, which was in his garage, and threw all of the nails into a garbage can.