Stars Beyond Borders!

If any of our readers support the struggle of our greatest national treasure, Holleeeeeeeeewooooooooood celebrities, please donate to this blog's charity fund, which provides job training for out of work actors. On to the newzzzzzz!

Item A! Actor Keanu Reeves and his band Dogstar have recently announced plans to perform the entirety of their classic album, "Our Little Visionary" on three January nights at Los Angeleses Peter Fonda Theater.

Item 2! Actor Alex Baldwin quickly devoured a "Filly" cheese steak sandwich as a guest on Food Network's "Best Thing I Ever Ate" television program.

Last Item! Actor Titus Welliver was recently treated to a surprise birthday party, hosted by friend Actor Marc Pellegrino. Sources close to the actors say that the surprise was ruined shortly before the party due to the "loose lips" of Actor Elizabeth Mitchell.

Celebrity Hijinks Take Manhattan!

Today's stories are linked by their proximity to Holleeewoooooood'z proximity to our golden, famous-friend soaked sister city, the glorious city of Manhattan! Fun fact- Holleeeeeeewooooooooood and Manhattan are in the same hemispheres!

Item #1! According to an identified source on the set of a studio in Burbank, Actor David Boreanaz was overheard giving this tidbit of actorly advice to up and coming Actor Emma Stane: "Please wipe the mayonnaise off of the bread of the turkey sandwich before you eat it, because mayonnaise is loaded with fats, oils, and carbohydrates."

Middle Item! Actor Bruce "Goldy" Willis was spotted trying out beds at a bed store in Torrance. Willis apparently asked a teenaged employee about the size of a bed that was described as "very soft looking." The Actor reportedly inquired about a monthly payment plan.

Item C! At a press conference held at his home in San Fernando Valley, Actor Nathan Lane announced his intention to drive across the continental United States in a refurnished classic 1985 Buick Skylark. When asked by a reporter why he had decided to exclude Hawaii and Alaska, Lane explained that he was uneasy about the Pacific Ocean and several parts of Canada.

Gravy Boats Featuring Actor Kate Winslet and Actor Billy Zane!

Thanksgiving time is coming soon! Give thanks for the talent of Holleeeewoooddz most famous actors for blessing us with their gifts!

Item A! Actor Jay Z fed the scraps of a three thousand dollar steak dinner to his beloved Pekinese named Marbles.

Middle item ! Actor David Duchovny was the recent recipient of a medical operation that removed his incisors and replaced them with vampire fangs.

Item 3! Actor Gwen Paltrow purchased a shirt at a boutique in Beverly Hills featuring the likeness of Actor Gene Rodenberry! A Star Trak fan, Ms. Paltrow? Who knew? (Certainly we do now!)

Actor Time Sizmore Ate A Hamburger Here!

Yes, this is the blog that he stopped to eat a roadside burger at. Crisp fried onions, homemade catsup, top notchly freshed tomatoes, and pure celebrity gossip. Let's begin!

First Item! Actor Gregor E. Hines spent thirteen hours playing Video Game Mega Man X 2. His natural rhythmic abilities allowed him to find several key extracurricular items including the Dodgem Helmet and the Ponciful Perch.

Item 2! Actor Dennis Hopper was seen at Griffith Park Observatory directing German tourists into an earthen cellar, at which point he explained to them the benefits of a cellular telephone carrier.

Item C! Actor Titus Welliver recently solved a game of Clue, claiming that Professor Plum carried out a murder using a lead pipe in the Library, during a game played at home with friends Actor Marc Pellegrino and Actor Evangeline Lily.

Item!

Actor Woody Harrelbson ordered a panini of mozzarella and prosciutto at an Italian restaurant.

"Grampa Why is John Travolta Digging Through Our Trashcan?"

You heard it here first, readers! Actor John Travolta, star of "Michael" and "Phenomenon" is an ace ruiner of hollywood celebrations. Now, on to some more positive gossipy tidbits.

First Item! According to Actor Brandon "Supermacho" Routh's agents, the actor was offered a role in a commercial for snack food Bugles, but turned down the offer due to concerns about the direction of the script.

Item B! Actor Blake Lilely was spotted removing the names of several people from her cellular telephone's address book in a crazed fury. Sources close to the actor told Holleewood Newz that Lilely was only menstruating, and should be back to normal in two to three days.

Item #3! Actor Titus Welliver was surprised recently, after his friend, Actor Marc Pellegrino, handed him a can of peanuts that actually contained spring-loaded fake snakes.

The Stars Are Aligned!

It's a total solar eclipse of talent tonight, here in Holleeeeewooooood. In fact, tourists are barely able to see the Holleeeeeeeeeewoooooood sign, due to the shimmering brightness. Better book another trip, fellows!

Item at the beginning! Sources close to Actor Huge Ackman say that he booked a room on a Carnival Cruise Line traveling to Encinitas, Mexico, but cancelled the trip after hearing about the recent troubles that the country is having with drugs and the people who deal them. The sources confirm that the actor had only purchased the tickets because he got a very reasonable rate on popular booking Website Travelocity.

Item #B! Actor Jude Law was spotted playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Fault Line on a Playstation at his home in Malibu, California. Reports indicate that a bowl of tortilla chips was nearby on a coffee table.

Item 3! Actor Marc Pellegrino recently opened a new checking account at Chase Bank, enticed by the offer of no annual payments and the promise of a free checkbook at the start of each new calendar year.